I’ve been trying to write this post for a couple of days now. The typical post-conference recap.

Except I can’t get my head to stop spinning. It’s really a good thing overall… but right now it feels like the world is crashing down around me. Even as I read other BlissDom recaps, I can’t help but to click away from nearly all of the blogs before commenting.

I think partly because I’m afraid it really is all over. All of the hype, all of the expectation, all of the waiting… all over in a matter of 3 days of seeing friends, listening to great speakers and getting spoiled by the sponsors that were at the event.

The trip was wonderful… seeing friends that I’ve missed since last year especially. Meeting new friends. Learning more about myself. Hearing what the speakers shared. And I can unequivocally say this year that I will not even pause when the Bliss-At-Home package is released. I need to hear what I missed… because apparently I missed a lot of good sessions.

Really, my trip was excellent. Even the flights and drive to and from Detroit.

But upon my arrival home, I cried. Tears flowed and I couldn’t make them stop. I didn’t want to be here. Or rather, I don’t want to be here. But I don’t know where I’m supposed to be… what I’m supposed to be doing… but I know that this life – and everything that is surrounding it is wrong. My job. My house. My everything.

The one thing – the main thing at least – that has kept me in this area is my family. I love them and like being near them. But I can’t let them hold me back (not that they intentionally have). But I don’t know where to go. And if I should just run to the unknown without looking back.

I did walk away with one thing without question. That I am committing to talking (actually voice talking) to my friends more. I know others that feel the same way as I do… cut off from each other in the midst of life once again taking over. Even if it’s a 10 minute conversation at the end of the day once a month – it’s more than what we had over the last year – and to stay connected seems to be what each of us needs more than anything. To hear our supporters rally for us. To listen as we hear what is going well… and what we’re struggling with. To be a shoulder to cry on and have someone to rejoice with.

That’s the main thing I’m taking away from it all this year. The need to stay connected. Because without that connection – I’m alone. Without that connection – I become afraid and question myself. Without that connection – I’m not me.

And here’s hoping there will be another BlissDom recap from me tomorrow… to share what I saw, did and took pictures of.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~

This post is linked up with…