DutchBeingMe

iQuit…

Written on April 2, 2012

There’s a point in life where – I believe – everyone has to come to the realization that they are in over their heads. Maybe more than one time. Maybe (like for me) every week or so. But nonetheless, quitting has to happen and it’s where I’ve been over the last few weeks.

I guess saying that I quit isn’t quite right because – for the most part – I’m just changing HOW I do things… not necessarily giving up on them.

Like for blogging. I’m not going to write every.single.day. But I am going to try to be here more often than I have been in the last month. I want to still write to get my feelings out – but not populate my blog with the same.old.stuff. each and every week. (Which yes, if you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, I do feel like I’m saying the “same.old.stuff” quite often.)

But the iQuit in this blog post title is about the things I’ve been doing – and haven’t been working for me.

Like…

…my gym membership. I *LOVE* my gym. But the problem is that I’ve been too busy to actually get out and go there – and when I do it’s only for classes. (Granted, the classes are great – but I’m finding myself missing said classes & then not motivating myself to get to the gym.)

My change: I bought Wii Fit Plus this weekend (and Zumba) – now I don’t have to leave my house if it’s rainy or cold (or I just feel like being a hermit) – and can utilize the Wii that is in my living room.

…Weight Watchers. Now don’t get me wrong – I succeeded with Weight Watchers before – and I *KNOW* I could do it again. But once again… I’m finding myself not attending meetings and being really lacking in tracking my food on their mobile app (I have no excuse). So it’s more of a money thing here for me. I’m not using it – so therefore I shouldn’t be paying for it.

My change: Using free apps like “My Fitness Pal” or “Lose It” to get into the habit of tracking.

…eating out all the time. I am the poster child right now of what you shouldn’t do. I’ve gained 100 pounds back after reaching my goal weight in October 2008. And I will admit, if I don’t have a plan for food – I *will* eat out each and every day (or more than once a day.)

My change: I started reading a couple of books over the weekend that had been recommended to me. (I haven’t gotten far in either of them.) The first is called “Eat Right 4 your Type” – and breaks down what foods are best for the blood type that you have. The second is called “Why Women Need Fat“ which has started to show me how much the “diet” foods that are produced by companies are so bad for us. I’m going to start working to get back into the cooking mindset (if what I do in the kitchen is in fact anything “cooking” related) and then work to cut out as much of this “reduced fat” stuff out of my diet all together.

PS… this also means I’m going to start working to rid myself of Diet Coke again. *Hold Me*

…leaving the Mamavation group. This one is hard for me. I enjoy being part of this group – and look up to the leadership greatly – but I am not made for this group. I’m not a mother (and don’t know if I ever will be) and often times feel singled out for this. I also don’t have many people “interact” with me on the twitter hashtag, which has made me feel very alone lately – and ironically the “being left out/alone” thing is one of the main “causes/reasons/roots” to why I gained weight back in the middle school/high school/college years.

My change: Joining with some blog/social media friends to form our own accountability group on FaceBook. Nothing “organized”, but a way to check in with others to keep up on what we’re doing right and wrong (and to offer helpful suggestions along the way.)

…looking at life so negatively. I don’t want to be a complainer – I’ve spent most of my life doing just that. Especially if something isn’t going my way – or how I think is fair for myself or others. I speak up. But I rarely tell people how much I am blessed by knowing them. I rarely share how much something has made me feel “full” (emotionally) inside.

My change: Starting yesterday on twitter… and likely continuing soon on Facebook… I am telling people that I am grateful for them. That I truly value their friendship. That I am blessed for knowing them. And if you are reading this – I am blessed by knowing YOU.

All I know right now is that I need some change. Hopefully these changes will be for the good.

*Affiliate links are included in this post.

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weight loss

I don’t wanna…

Written on April 1, 2012

It’s April one… halfway from my last birthday and halfway til my next… and believe it or not, I’m writing again today. Please don’t fall over shocked or something, I really wouldn’t want to be responsible for needing to call the medics or whatever. And quite the opposite from an April Fool’s Joke.

But I am back to writing regularly (hopefully) – starting with one of my favorite meme’s to write with – Stream of Conciousness Sunday with All Things Fadra.

Here’s the Writing Prompt from Fadra today… What are the things in your life right now that you just don’t want to do? But I’m going to take a little different take on it…

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Over the last few weeks, I’ve been finding myself getting to be more and more negative. Negative about work. Negative about future endeavors. Negative about myself. Negative about just anything.

And I want it to stop.

I don’t wanna…

…be that girl that doesn’t live out her dreams. The one that sits behind her computer wishing that things could happen, but never persuing anything that is really meaningful.

…be alone for the rest of my life. Granted, I do kind of like my own space and all the “me” time I get. But I’m suffering from “aloneness” much of the time – which is why I depend on friends on twitter, Facebook or wherever to keep me entertained.

…live in this town anymore. I know my parents (and probably brothers) don’t really want to hear it, but the plans are getting to be much more “in place” for this to happen in the future. (But this does directly relate to not living life.)

…keep hearing myself say that I want to change – my body, my eating habits, my weight, and/or anything to do with my physical appearance, the way my clothes fit, etc – and then not doing anything about it. (More about that tomorrow.)

…stop writing. I did that over the past two+ weeks and all it did was help me keep anger and frustration pent up inside of me.

I don’t wanna be a negative person.

So I’m going to start looking at things differently. Look to those friends that mean so much to me and TELL them I am grateful for them. Be a person that is sharing light and love. Be someone that I can be proud to say that I am me… and I don’t wanna be anyone else.

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All About Me, Stream of Consciousness Sunday

If I won the #MegaMillions…

Written on March 30, 2012

This week I started playing the lottery again. I’ve only played a few times in my life before this… and I think (at most) what I’ve won is $5. Maybe. But when it was brought to my attention that the jackpot for the Mega Millions was over $300 million on Tuesday, I just had to buy a ticket. I mean, 1 in 176 million chance is not a great… but still.

I'm feeling lucky

So apparently I wasn’t as lucky as what I had first envisioned myself being… you know, because I’m a dreamer like that and could totally win that amount of money by just buying one lotto ticket. Well, on my good fortune, no one else was as lucky either… because as of this morning it’s at $540 million.

Of course – this means that I’m playing again tonight.

Now you are probably wondering what me, the dreamer… and realist, would buy with such a jackpot. After all, if I took it in one lump sum, it would be a mere (approx) $350 million in cold hard cash.

Well, we’ll start out being practical giving 50% to the fed and state for taxes. Because I don’t want to get in trouble with anyone there. Then I’ll be uber-practical and pay off all my debt… and the debt of all of my immediate family members. The nephew (and any future nephew/nieces/children) would have a pretty good sized college trust fund started.

Then I’ll get practical – because I’m just that way. I’ll sell my condo to the first person to give me a decent offer and buy a house on the lake here. (Well, buying the new house on the lake might come before selling the condo, but still…) I’d also look at buying a place in a warm weather state. Preferably on or near an ocean. Because if I can live off this amount of money for the rest of my life (which if you plan correctly you totally can), I’m totally going to become a snowbird. Of course… this snowbird is only going to fly first class from now on too. (I’m not into that whole buying my own jet thing.)

Then I’d want to start a business of my own. Something I’ve dreamed of doing for a few years now – as well as work on my writing and try to publish a book. And if I don’t run out of money in the first few years, I might be able to publish a book on changing your lifestyle dramatically… without changing who you really are. (Because I’m starting to get to know myself… and starting to like me.

I would also want to give a large portion of the money away. Not right away of course, but over time. I think I’d like to set up a foundation so that many charities and non-profits could benefit.

Then there’s the scholarship program I would like to set up as well. Some of the criteria for this scholarship would be an active social media life (twitter, facebook, instagram, etc) as well as writing on a blog regularly.

Finally, I would love to do something fun. Like a bloggy vacation. Take all of my friends that I hold dear to my heart on a trip to give them a few days of rest, relaxation and just to give each one of them an overall rejeuvenation for life.

I know that this is a long shot. I know that I’m a dreamer. I know that my changes of getting struck by lightening (especially on this rainy, thunderstorm-y day) are greater than my chance of winning.

But I feel good about these chances. Why? Because I won $2 on Tuesday night… so I’m putting that toward the big jackpot on Friday. It’s obviously gotta be lucky… right?

What would you do with the jackpot if you won?

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All About Me, Pondering Thoughts

It’s been 10 days…

Written on March 19, 2012

You know when you get into a funk and you just can’t seem to get yourself out of it? That’s where I’m at right now. Not in everything in life, but mostly in blogging and social media type things. Strange I know… but I think it’s a good thing for me overall.

… Like wanting to be outside with my family enjoying the nearly 80 degree weather in March.

… Like watching more basketball in a 96 hour period than a person should watch. (And loving every minute of the March Madness-esque upsets and close games!)

… Like cleaning my house in preparation for things that may be coming later this year.

… Like starting something that could change the course of my life forever.

But it’s been 10 days since my last blog post.

I want to be writing. I want to be expressing myself and sharing thoughts, ponderances, expressions… that have been going through my mind recently. But it seems that the moment I sit down with my computer on my lap, the words disappear and I’m left with nothing. A blank slate to be filled… but no thoughts to put on it.

I’ve also been in a funk (once again) with my health. I really have to start getting back into the good things that I’ve learned through Weight Watchers over the years (as well as a better routine of walking/running/spin class, etc.) I think it’s been about 8 days since my last workout, and my eating hasn’t really been on par either… so I’m totally feeling it. Just roll me over to the nearest corner.

I didn’t even “dare” go to the Weight Watchers center this past week to weigh in.

What I need to do is get over myself and the issues that I seem to be creating.

I need to make a plan. Or plans. Or something like that.

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Mamavation Monday