Weight Loss Journey

The beginning…

All kids in school have *those* days… the days when they are teased by their classmates or have feelings of insecurity. I don’t remember how it all came about but I was that kid everyday. Or at least that’s how I perceived myself. I didn’t think anyone liked me… from elementary school… to middle school… and into the high school and college years.

During all of those years, events happened that only made me confirm that. Not being chosen for something… being humiliated by people I thought cared about me… and just not feeling like the people I called friends really cared. Most people in high school really didn’t truly know me… really only a small group during my senior year actually turn my faith around in people — and God. {If they had not entered my life, I’m not sure how or where I would be right now. If you are reading this… you know who you are… thank you for being my friend that year. You were God to me.}

Anyway… throughout those school years (middle/high/college), I gained weight. And more weight. And more weight. My family tried to tell me, tried to warn me. But I didn’t see it. Unlike most “normal” people, I saw myself thinner than I actually was. I’m not sure why this is. So it was almost as if I was looking into a different mirror than all around me.

My first experience with Weight Watchers…

But then in 2002, my brother proposed to his fiancée {now wife} and asked me to be in the wedding. I had to get up in front of everyone… and it was about that time that I realize how out of control I was. Eating out at least 1 time per day. Eating whatever I felt like. Eating to drown the emotions of being “left behind” in life. Eating to find a way out.

So in November of 2002, I joined Weight Watchers — and that was by far the most humbling experience of my life. I couldn’t imagine that I had tipped the scales at more than 300 pounds. It was at that moment that I realize how bad things REALLY were — and I saw myself in a whole new light. I took and followed the plan and I started losing weight. I was feeling good. I joined a gym and I walked.  By the time the wedding came, I had lost about 35-40 pounds. I thought I looked fabulous in the dress I wore.

And a few months later… without the goal of the wedding or another life event to keep me going in my journey… I slipped back into some old habits and eventually dropped the plan from my life. Once again… back to eating, eating, eating.

Can I really lose the weight…

Fast forward to a couple years later… November/December of 2005 to be exact… my aunt asked me to join Weight Watchers with her and some friends from her office — and be a support to one another. At the time I really thought about this. Thought hard on whether I could actually succeed at this. And so I joined up again… and learned that I had gained 25 pounds back from what I had originally lost. That was like having the life sucked out of me that day.

But I started the plan and lost that 25 pounds pretty easily. Not easy… but easily enough in the first few months. And then summer of 2006 came and things started veering slightly off course. I remember driving home from my cousins house in Pennsylvania – just after my 29th birthday – seriously contemplating whether I should keep going on the plan. Whether I really could do this. After all… I had *A LOT* to lose yet.

The diagnosis…

Then October 4 came. It was a Thursday night. I had just arrived home from watching my dad’s bowling team and was hanging out with my roommate… and then the phone rang. My dad was on the other end of the line saying that my mom had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. He didn’t have many details, but we would know more soon. I’m sure he said a lot more than that… but I was sitting in the dark in my bathroom alone and in shock that this was real.

In the following weeks, we learned more about what was going on… and that my mom’s prognosis was very good. And because I’m a nut for doing my research, I looked up everything about this disease. And it was during this time that I read article upon article that said being morbidly obese (which I knew I was) increased my risk factor for being diagnosed.

Motivation…

In January of 2007, I jumped back on the Weight Watchers plan. I joined a new gym and exercised everyday for a 1/2 hour. I journaled every morsel of food that went into my mouth. And I lost almost 20 pounds that first month back on the plan. It was in early February that I set a goal for myself, to be at 100 pounds off by my 30th birthday (52 pounds to go at this point) eight months later. I then worked out, ate right, worked out, drank water, and worked out. :) And guess what, when I left for my 30th birthday trip to Las Vegas… I was only 0.2 pounds away from that goal. Close enough!

I came back from the trip ready to take on the next goal of obtaining my goal weight by my birthday the next year. I continued on the plan, and kept going with the same workouts (walking mostly) that I had done for so long. I failed to mention that somewhere along during this time, I took for granted how important the Weight Watcher’s meeting really are… and stopped going. I have to say that during the year following my 30th birthday — with only 50-ish pounds left to conquer — the best thing I did was to attend meetings. I wish I never would have stopped. The support there is fantastic!

Through this last year, I had some up’s & down’s as anyone does. But with the support of my family — the whole family — I accomplished my goal 3 weeks after my 31st birthday… and on December 3, 2009 — 7 years to the day from when I walked into the Weight Watchers center for the very first time — I became a lifetime member.

Throughout this journey, I’ve learned so much about myself… and now I really just want to reach out to others and tell them that they too can lose the excess weight — and live life to their fullest potential. I mean really… if I could make it happen (a girl with NO willpower and who absolutely LOVES her chocolate and french fries)… anyone can lose weight — or REALLY — accomplish any goal that they have set out before them.

That’s really what my story is all about. Accomplishing goals.

Make the most out of life… do not take any day for granted.

Update: (4/2/10) I know that there’s an issue with comments on this page… please be patient with me. I’m trying to learn a new theme/software! :) I would love it if you wanted to give me feedback at dutchbeingme (at) gmail (dot) com. Thanks!!