Yes, I realize it’s been a week since I posted my last blog. It’s been quite the week for me — and inspiration was lacking — I apologize. But as I said, exciting things happened this week {I became an aunt} and you’ll see much more soon! Oh yeah, and I have a plan about blogs coming daily once again. Hopefully the inspiration will continue after today. HA!

Today I had to tell you about what I’ve been seeing lately. I’m finding the {specifically placed} ads on the websites that I’ve been visiting absolutely hilarious. Really, it’s just Facebook and Gmail. I’ve know for a while that gmail (my e-mail provider) sifts through my e-mail messages to find and provide ads to me that are relevant to what I’m writing to my friends (and other people about.) At times it makes me laugh because some of the “key words” that they pick out have NOTHING to do with the actual meaning of what I or friends are writing about.

Then there’s Facebook. I’ve suspected for a while that they’ve been picking up the same types of things for their ads… but it was overwhelmingly put in front of me a few weeks ago when everything said “AGE 32: ” with their ad. Yeah, thanks for reminding me every minute while I’m online (not that I have a problem with my age) that I’m 32. But apparently 32 year olds get special coupons to Victoria’s Secret. Who knew!?!?

Well, the other night I’m inputting my status update — trying to decide what kind of excitement in my life that I want to share with my “friends” out in Facebook-land. Then I see the ad to the right. The part that killed me was the first line — literally I was laughing out loud! — was the “Stop dating heathens!” part.

Yeah… because that’s what’s stopping me from being in a successful, loving, healthy relationship.

It’s the heathens.

*todays lyric title: Paula Abdul – “Cold Hearted”

I’m not talking about the Orange soda today (although, it does bring back memories of grandma’s house and drinking soda from cans that were well past when they should have been used…) but rather whether or not it is ok for me to *HAVE* a crush on a guy.

Yup, it’s true… and no, I’m not saying who it is… or whether anyone I know has any regular contact with this particular interest. Just saying that he’s out there. And wondering if I should get the guts up to do something about it.

I’ve only really “taken a chance” once — and it really did end up being a good experience (although in hindsight, not very many wise decisions were made on my part that day)… and while I have no contact with that guy any longer, I learned a few things about myself.

I learned that I am courageous, but still want to be “swept off my feet”. I learned that I am strong, but yet can be disppointed even when I don’t expect to be. I learned that I can have fun with something/someone without it really going anywhere, but also know that I don’t want that for my life.

I know God has a plan for my life and my relationships. And everyone tells me that I will know it when I meet the guy I’m supposed to be with. But I’ve only heard of one situation that “MR. RIGHT” actually showed up on someone’s front porch. True story. It actually happened to a very good friend of mine. But I don’t think it’s going to work that way for me… which means that something must be done. Action must be taken.

So here I am… been thinking about this post for a couple of days now… wondering if I will once again have the guts to act on this crush. Wondering if I do act on it and talk to him, how responsive he will be. And for that matter… especially not knowing for sure if he is dating someone currently. Yeah, that wouldn’t be embarrassing AT.ALL.

I sit, ponder, wait and wonder… and pray about it — because that’s the only thing really keeping my sanity about the whole thing.

…and yes, I’ve also been told that if I forget about everything to do with relationships (i.e. focus on something else in life), that’s when it’s going to happen. Hmmm… so much to ponder, so much to think about…