Can it hold…

I’ve been having this feeling again. It’s really the same feeling… but over a number of things.

Can it hold.

It’s been nearly 3 months since I’ve blogged. Really since I’ve written anything at all. I’m missing that part of my life… but I’m also embracing what may be changing in the not so distant future too. Until I actually started writing down my thoughts here, I didn’t even realize I had a blog post written in my head. It comes naturally. But even with the changes I’m trying to initiate in my life right now, I’m just not sure how much it’s going to stick. Can I keep going with this blogging thing again… or is it just going to be on the back burner? Is it going to be something I look forward to writing again… or is it something where I wish I hadn’t had to pay for it all?

Can it hold.

I’ve been trying to work out lately again. And my head was in the right place earlier this week. Until I got the blister on my heel. Did you know that your foot moves in your shoe… like… ALL THE TIME?? (Yes, I went all “valley girl” on you there.) So now I’m trying to let it heal so that I CAN do workouts in the not so distant future.

Can it hold.

My outlook on things has been waxing and waning again. I think it’s more due to the changes in weather than anything else. I have a trip to North Carolina that I’m super excited for – as well as NaNoWriMo starting in a matter of hours. But on the flip side, I know that winter… and the inevitable snow that comes along with it… is in the not so distant future. Unfortunately, this has seemingly given way to affect things (like my desire to be on Facebook or Twitter… or even to blog) and instead choosing to do other random things… like coloring in a coloring book, catching up on the final seasons of “The Office” & “30 Rock” and reading a few books – but not finishing any – that are held in my bookshelves.

Can it hold.

I did another DietBet a few weeks ago… and started out strong. So strong in fact that I thought I would have no problem winning. But instead, I found myself not tracking and sleeping through the times that I thought I’d be working out. I need to get the momentum of that going again… and soon. I was inspired in mid-September to try to lose the weight and stay as focused as possible. But then life happened – or rather a conference – and I got all discombobulated. (By the way… I love that word!)

Can it hold.

This is the thought as I sit down in chairs lately. I really am worried and focused on my weight far too much again. I’m worried that as I walk across something or sit down somewhere new… that it won’t hold me. I think about how much weight an elevator can hold and estimate the math if there’s a large number of people in there with me. I don’t have any reason to worry like this… but it reminds me of the days right as I was starting my journey in 2005.

I’m not sure I have the right words to close this out… other than I am grateful for so many people supporting me. Whether it’s in writing, social media, family or friends that fit into none or all the categories… I’m blessed by you.

Things are changing here. I don’t know exactly where the road is leading yet, but I’m starting to see where I’m supposed to be.

Comments

  1. I have a love/hate relationship with my blog. I was losing interest and about to quit, then someone started a blog of the same name using the domain name I dropped since I was on blogger. It totally ticked me off and seems to have gotten me motivated to blog again just to keep them off the top of the google search list ;-) so you never know what could be a motivating factor.

    best wishes on your weight loss journey. I find I have the most fun when walking with a buddy – looooong walks but we talk so much the time passes very quickly
    carma recently posted..I Just Can’t Help It!My Profile

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